Warning: May Contain Nuts – Absolutely the First Definitive Rev of the Incompetent, Inadvertant & Occasionally Illegal World of Bus in New Millenium

<p>Introduction vii</p>
<p>1 The Emerald Tiger and Dame Edna 1</p>
<p>2 Mediocre, Sad and Cheating: The Ascent of Man 8</p>
<p>3 How Many Tears ... 12</p>
<p>4 Reflections from Tibet 16</p>
<p>5 Wisdom from the Little Red (Business) Book 21</p>
<p>6 Viva El Gato 25</p>
<p>7 The Return of El Gato 29</p>
<p>8 Zero Tolerance? Make My Day 33</p>
<p>9 An Apple a Day 37</p>
<p>10 Have it Your Way 41</p>
<p>11 Yes, We Have No Bananas 45</p>
<p>12 What News from the Rialto? 49</p>
<p>13 Jury s Still Out 53</p>
<p>14 Bill and Me Such Good Losers 57</p>
<p>15 Midsummer Night Dreams 61</p>
<p>16 Listen Carefully: I Will Say This Only Once 65</p>
<p>17 Be Like Mike 69</p>
<p>18 I m Dreaming of a Green Ketchup? 73</p>
<p>19 Lessons from the Golf Pro 77</p>
<p>20 Learning the Hard Way 81</p>
<p>21 When Dilbert was Funny 85</p>
<p>22 Champagne First, Please 89</p>
<p>23 All That Useless Beauty 93</p>
<p>24 Lights Out, Please 97</p>
<p>25 Amazingly Graceless 101</p>
<p>26 R U there? This is 4 U 105</p>
<p>27 Loaves and Fishes 109</p>
<p>28 Hello AOL, Goodbye Oldsmobile 113</p>
<p>29 Dr Who? 118</p>
<p>30 Only When I Laugh 123</p>
<p>31 More Stuff, Less Choice 127</p>
<p>32 Remedies for the Ohno Moment 131</p>
<p>33 The Last Post (Office) 135</p>
<p>34 The Benefits of S.E.A.L. 139</p>
<p>35 The Changing Face of Giants 144</p>
<p>36 No Wonder We Are Living Longer 148</p>
<p>37 Rebel Without a Cause 152</p>
<p>38 I Say, Would You Mind Awfully 156</p>
<p>39 Don t Read This Before Your Chicken Soup 160</p>
<p>40 It s Life, Jim But Not As We Know It 164</p>
<p>41 People are Our Greatest Asset (and Other Corporate Lies) 168</p>
<p>42 And So it Came to Pass Oh No it Didn t 172</p>
<p>43 Danger! Genius at Work 176</p>
<p>44 That Was The Week That Was 180</p>
<p>45 Go On, Surprise Me Make My Day 184</p>
<p>46 The Defense Speaks 188</p>
<p>47 Across the Great Divide 193</p>
<p>48 And Now for Something Completely Different 198</p>
<p>Index 203</p>